Cherry Chocolate Milkshake

Dear Calories,

I used to fear you.

I used to cry when I found out your amount on my favorite chocolate cake.

I used to check you often, like a jealous girlfriend...And everytime, you seemed to disappoint. I knew you could never be trusted.

Calories. Your shady. You pretend to be something you're not.

You say you're so little, but then I check with your friends sugar and fat, and well, they've made up for your "little" size alright, and hiding what "half" the calories really means.

So decietful.

You jerk.

Oh Calories.

Just when I think you are doing my body good..

You are really doing it OH.SO.WRONG.

You say that the smaller the size you are the better for me, when in reality, your a lying backstabbing no good sun of a biscuit.

No nutrition, just pure sugar, and bad fats, and lard.

Oh wait, but your only 120 calories..

Then I guess it's worth it right?

Is it worth checking every box, calculating every number, crying over nothing to eat on the menu besides a dressing-less salad?

Is it worth the limits, and the nasty food, and the small bags of packaged oreos.

BUT it's ONLY 100 Calories!

Oh calories...

I want you to know I am leaving you. I find it pointless to check you and watch you like a hawk. You drive me crazy, and I don't know why I would do that to my self.

I will no longer eat something because of your size, but I will eat food based of it's nutrition, and it's benefits for my body. And don't try and convince me that it's healthy for me to eat a certain amount of calories per meal, and that a 300 calorie frozen meal is good for me.

Because it's NOT.

You see, I am sorry calories, but a 300 calorie frozen meal will not satisfy. I will be starving 20 minutes later, thus consuming more of you. I won't be getting the nutrition that I need when I am depriving myself from healthy fats, good carbs, and much needed protein.

I know that I don't want to count on you the rest of my life. Because I hate diets. I am all for a lifestyle.

And I am sick and tired of asking for the nutritional information at a restaurant.

I'm not stupid.

I know what is in macaroni and cheese, and I most definitely know what is in that chocolate cake.

pure deliciousness :)

I know that if I eat a salad with a nuts or avocado, tons of veggies, and fresh dressing, that I am most likely consuming more calories than a piece of rice cake topped with a tomato.

But instead of 100 calories, I'll get the fats, proteins, carbs, & nutrients that my body needs.

So calories,

We are no longer dating in a very unhealthy relationship.

We are now friends.

Best friends.

Even though I think you are a rotten dirty tramp sometimes.

You see calories, I am no longer afraid of your numbers. I know who you are and I know all about you. I know your secrets and I know how you trick.

And I will no longer count you because, well, I hate math.

You will no longer be my Chris Brown, and I will no longer be your Rhianna. You can't beat me up, and bring me down.

From now on I don't want to know anything about you. I respect who you are, and I'll leave it at that.

Good bye


Peace out.

Cherry Chocolate Milk Shake

(serves 2....or 1 ;] )


2 fudge schmalls(recipe below)

1 frozen banana

1 cup frozen cherries

6 cubes frozen coconut milk

1/4-1/2 cup coconut milk (or other non dairy creamy milk-help/soy vanilla)


Blend in a blender until creamy. Add extra cherries and sprinkle with cocoa-nibs.


Fudge Balls

(Adapted from ChocolateCoveredKatie!)


1/2 cup pecans

1/2 cup walnuts

1 1/3 cup pitted dates

1 tsp. vanilla

4 TB cocoa powder


Blend all ingredients in food processor until combined and somewhat crumbly/moist.

Form into schmalls and store in fridge/freezer.